After the Running
by Kathryn Hart
Summary: Aka Missing Scenes. Stories that were never onscreen before, in between or after our favorite episodes. #7: "I've made many mistakes, and it's time I did something about that." The Doctor is sick of having broken hearts and causing them. This time he has the chance to start over. Set during Time of the Doctor Regen. Dr/Rose, Dr/River, Clara, Past Companions SPOILERS FOR DEEP BREATH
1. It'll Never Be The Same

**An idea I had last year, a fic with stories filling in the gaps in random places. Not sure if I'll ever continue this after this chapter, but we'll see what happens. I just happen to like this chapter, so I decided to share it with you ^^ Nine is love! :D**

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><p><em>After the Running<em>

_aka: Missing Scenes_

_by Kathryn Hart_

_Missing Scene #1:_

_Title: It'll Never Be the Same_

_A Nine Tribute_

_Episode: The Christmas Invasion_

_Characters: Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor(mentioned), Tenth Doctor(mentioned)  
><em>

_Summary: What happens when Rose finds the Doctor's leather jacket after he regenerates?_

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><p>Rose stopped cold in her tracks. There it was, sitting on the arm of the chair. <p>

_The Leather Jacket_.

She walked slowly, as if in a trance. Reaching out, she was afraid to touch it, as if it would disappear, just as The Doctor, _her Doctor_ did just a short while ago.

When fingers finally connected with the cool texture, Rose's breath strangled in a sob. She rushed over and grabbed it, holding it close to her body. She collapsed to the floor, the jacket in a bundle in her arms. Memories flashed in her mind as tears slid down her face.

_"Run!"_

_ "There's me."_

_ "I could save the world but lose you."_

_ "What use are emotions if you will not save the woman you love?"_

_ "Just another stupid ape."_

_ "I'm sorry."_

_ "Everybody lives, just this once, everybody lives!"_

_ "Rose, I'm coming to get you!"_

_ "It was a better life."_

_ "You were fantastic, **absolutely fantastic! **And you know what...? So was I!"_

Rose shook as the tears blurred her vision. Her wonderful Doctor, the man who had changed her life, had disappeared in a flash of light, replaced by a stranger.

She grabbed the jacket and held it up to her face, inhaling deeply. It still smelled like her Doctor: Leather and adrenaline. What she wouldn't give to feel this jacket on broad shoulders and a strong back, and to feel the well-toned muscles within.

She remembered the embrace they shared in that church in 1987. They had held each other so close, Rose could still feel herself in his arms. Those arms that held the weight of the world.

Obviously Mickey had taken the beloved jacket off when changing that..._other man_ into the pajamas that he wore now. She still couldn't believe her Doctor was gone. It was as if he was dead. Everything that made her feel at ease and at home, was gone.

The other man, the new Doc-

No, she couldn't accept that. But she did allow her mind to drift on what that man had said to her, before his...regeneration went wrong.

_ "It's still me."_

_ ". . .But you can't be."_

_ "Then how could I remember this?" He stepped closer to her. She stepped away hesitantly._

_ "The very first word I ever said to you, trapped in that cellar, surrounded by shop window dummies. Oh, such a long time ago. I took your hand. . ." He grabbed her hand to demonstrate. This new hand felt colder, but strangely, it still fit the same. Rose glanced down and gulped. "I said one word. Just one word, I said: 'Run!'" He whispered the last word as if it was sacred. _

_But to Rose it was. That was their word, the one word that defined their entire relationship. _

_She felt like she was in a trance. It sounded so familiar. . .but is it possible?_

_ "Doctor?" She whispered as their faces inched closer together. Their eyes were locked. And then he smiled. So different a smile, yet still the same. _

_ "Hello!" He said happily. Rose turned away, the spell broken. This man was different. He had ruined the moment, her Doctor never spoke like that._

_ He wasn't the same. _

Rose still wouldn't let go of the jacket. It was the last thing she had of her Doctor that was left, that hadn't been taken away by this new person.

Fingering the soft material in her fingers, she remembering reading somewhere, in the back of her mind, that leather was the sign of a warrior. And that's just what the Doctor was: A warrior, the Oncoming Storm, the last survivor of the Time War.

Nothing that reminded her of the man who was hopping on one foot in the TARDIS just a short while back. She was disgusted, remembering seeing the man in this marvelous jacket. It obviously was too big for him, the leather hung around him like a cloak and it was too baggy in certain areas. He obviously wasn't built like the Doctor, _her Doctor_ with the strong muscles and broad chest.

She stood up and took the jacket to her room and hung it up in the closet. She planned on taking it back to the TARDIS' wardrobe where it belonged as soon as this alien crisis was over.

Looking one last time at the jacket, she ran her fingers down the sleeve, remembering doing that when the Doctor was wearing it.

She stepped back and wiped her eyes. No, things could never be the same again.

She walked out of her room and away from the closet, where the leather jacket hung in remembrance of all that had been lost.

_-End-_

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><p><strong>Please review! And no, this is not a hate letter about TenRose, I simply adore them! I just believe Nine/Rose fit better, especially their personalities.  
><strong>


	2. Future Echoes

**I'm surprised I added this chapter, as I wanted it to be on a story all it's own. It's not really a missing scene...well it could be, ah whatever! Anyways, this will try to explain why ****the Sixth Doctor was so full of anger and confusion at the start of his life. Quotes are from the Tenth Doctor.**

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><p><em>After the Running: Missing Scene #2<em>

_Title: Future Echoes_

_Episode: The Caves of Androzani(Classic Series)/The Twin Dilemma/The End of Time Part 2  
><em>

_Characters: The Fifth Doctor, The Tenth Doctor, Peri, The Sixth Doctor_

_Summary: Just why did the Fifth Doctor's regeneration go wrong? A 'future echo' from the anger of his Tenth incarnation may have had an effect...  
><em>

The Doctor stumbled into the TARDIS in unbearable pain. He laid Peri gently on the ground and tried to fight the toxemia destroying his system. It slowly had burned through his insides until it had reached the final stage and took his functions at an alarming rate.

_Peri! _

He injected her with the antidote and sadly looked at the empty container.

_As long as she's alright. _As soon as he knew she would be okay, he collapsed on the ground, letting the toxins take his current life. He prepared himself for the next regeneration process.

_Wait, wait...something's-_

"It feels...different this time."

_He saw faces, images, voices in his head. Tegan, Turlough, Kamelion, Nyssa..._

"Adric?"

_And finally the Master, his face taunting him in his last minutes._

_ "Die Doctor!" His horrible laughter echoed around in his head. The regeneration should start any second now..._

_ But then he heard a voice. A voice so unfamiliar, yet so recognizable. He automatically knew it was a future echo. One from a desperate man, not willing to go, also approaching his death. The voice was angry and desperate._

"_Well, exactly, look at you. Not remotely important. But me... I could do so much more! So! Much! More! But this is what I get, my reward. And it's not fair! Oh... lived too long." _

_Then the voice paused. It spoke again with unbearable sorrow._

"_I don't want to go!"_

_ Peri...not remotely important? I could...I __**could**__ do so much more! This life was good, I shouldn't have to go like this!_

_ Suddenly there was another voice in his head. The future echo must've done something. _

_ The new voice spoke with harsh words._

_ "It's all Peri's fault. These stupid humans can't take care of themselves!"_

_ "No!" The Doctor fought. "It's all my fault, Adric, Kamelion, dead because of me."_

_ "No, it's their foolishness that puts them in harm's way."_

_ "That's not true, that's not-"_

_ "You're so much better than them. All that work you did, saving the universe, and this is how you're repaid. Everything you've done for the Earth, to die, poisoned saving one human who couldn't make a difference."_

_ "Yes. I can't die, this isn't right." _

The Doctor argued with himself inside his mind, finally coming to the point where he was above these humans, he didn't have to go to their every beck and whim.

_This might change my regeneration... _

Because he knew that what was on his mind really affected his regeneration...

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><p>The Doctor sat up and took a look at his surroundings. New hair, new body, same Doctor. <em>Seems good. <em>He looked over and noticed Peri coming his way.

_Not remotely important..._

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><p><strong>For those of you not familiar with what the Sixth Doctor did after that, watch this: http: www. /watch?v=DnodQTzi700 **_  
><em>**(without the spaces)**_  
><em>


	3. Home is With You

_**Missing Scene #3**_

_**Title: Home is With You**_

_**Episode: Series 2(Any)**_

_**Main Characters: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler**_

_**Summary: Written specifically f**or the fanfic contest over at the Doctor and Rose club on DeviantArt ****"A story where Rose gets sick or injured and wants to go home to Jackie, but the Doctor discourages her."****_

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><p>"No no no no no!" The door to the TARDIS burst open and the Doctor ran in, carrying his companion Rose Tyler. She moaned and shook violently in his arms. The Doctor picked up his pace towards the Med Bay. He hadn't meant for her to get shot, and for the bullet to be coated with Spirulian Venom, one of the deadliest poisons on this side of the Meltution Galaxy.<p>

It had all started out as a normal day. He had taken her to see the enormous statue of one of the most powerful and influential leaders of the planet Geltor 4. The special thing about the statue was that it was made of sparkling rubies, making it one of the most visited attractions for space travelers. Everything should have been safe there.

But what he didn't know was that an escaped convict had broken into a science lab and had stolen a gun containing bullets highly toxic to humanoids...

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><p><em>"Wow Doctor, that's amazing! I love how the rubies sparkle brighter in the sunlight! Do you think I can take a picture?" Rose grinned as she pulled her camera out.<em>

_ "I don't see why not. Though why you would want to is clearly beyond me. We can come back any time you want, and whatever you take on your camera is not going to compare to–" They both jumped in surprise as a gunshot rang out. People started panicking and running. The Doctor could see him, a native of Geltor, holding a weapon and brandishing it above his head. His black eyes showed he was clearly insane and desperate._

_ The Doctor immediately pulled the sonic screwdriver out of his pocket and aimed it towards the criminal. Pressing a button, the gun sparked and flew out of the alien's hands. He yelled out in surprise as two security officers came and dragged him off._

_ "That was a close one." The Doctor said, smiling. That is, until he turned around and saw Rose standing there with a sick look on her face, her hands covering her bloody side. The Doctor blanched and was just able to catch her as she fell into his arms. _

_ "It's okay. I got you. It's just a gunshot wound." Or so he thought. She began to complain of a headache and intense stomach cramps, and as the Doctor laid her on the ground, her skin turned a pale blue. He lifted her shirt up and gasped. He could tell she had been poisoned by the area around the wound. With a quick sniff he identified it as Spirulian Venom, a toxic substance extracted from the deadly vipers of Spirulia._ _He knew then that she only had minutes __to live __unless he could get her to the TARDIS in time to administer an antidote._

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><p>Rose had just stopped breathing when he reached the Med Bay. He placed her on one of the examining tables and grabbed a vial. He cursed himself for being so slow as he filled it with the specific antidote she needed. He stuck the needle into her neck and drained the vial. After it was done he set the needle aside and waited with baited breath. A few minutes went by which felt like hours. Finally her skin turned back to normal and the Doctor released the breath he didn't know he was holding. She still had a long ways to go to be completely better, but at least she was over the hardest part.<p>

Rose's eyes fluttered opened and she coughed abruptly. She winced and shivered. The Doctor was immediately by her side.

"Doctor." She managed to whisper.

"Yes, I'm here."

"I want...to go home." She coughed again. "I...need to see...my mum." The Doctor immediately frowned. The last thing he needed now was Jackie screaming at him, blaming him for letting her daughter get so close to death.

"No, I think it's better that you stay here." The look on her face almost made him change his mind. "I can take care of you." She didn't reply, only closed her eyes and passed out from the pain. The Doctor ran a hand over his face to wipe the sweat off. That had been close. If he had lost her...he couldn't bear to think about that.

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><p>A few hours later and the Doctor was satisfied that she was out of danger. He picked her up and carried her out of the Med Bay and towards her bedroom down the hall. As he laid her in bed and tucked her under the duvet, she began to wake up again. The Doctor grabbed a wet towel and dabbed it over her sweaty forehead.<p>

"W-what happened?" She gasped. The Doctor handed her a glass of water and she drank it gratefully.

"You were shot with a bullet coated in Spirulian Venom. A potentially lethal poison that raids the body in a matter of seconds. Another few minutes and you would have been dead." She closed her eyes at that. "But you're okay now." He continued. "Well, mostly."

"What do you mean mostly?" She frowned. "And why can't I feel my legs?"

"Spirulian Venom takes a few days to be completely flushed out of your system. You won't be able to walk for a few days since it attacked your central nervous system."

"Okay." Rose noticed the strange look on the Doctor's face. "What's bothering you?" She asked him. He pursed his lips and was silent for a few seconds.

"I almost lost you today."

"But you didn't." She retorted. "And your point is?" The Doctor chuckled.

"You see right through me." The smile on his face faded. "You said you wanted to go home."

"I did?" The Doctor was relieved. She didn't remember. "No, wait. I do remember mentioning wanting to see my mum. But what's wrong with that?"

"Well, we've been together so long, I just wanted...uh..."

"Hold on." Rose stopped him. "Doctor, are you jealous of my own mum?"

"No!" He spluttered. "I am _not_ jealous of your mum! I-I guess I just wanted you to look to me to make you better. Because you can't deny that I know a whole lot more about taking care of you than your mum does." Rose nodded.

"Ah yes, the woman who raised me for twenty years versus the alien whose known me for only two. And besides, how is that different than being jealous?"

"Oh, I don't know," He leaned up against her bed. "Doesn't sound so...human." Rose laughed again, pulling the covers of her bed up.

"Come on," She encouraged him."

"You don't mind?"

"Nah. I know you don't look at us humans like that." _Ooh, that stung._ Nevertheless, he kicked off his trainers and hopped into her bed, snuggling in beside her. She curled up next to him and placed her head on his chest.

"Rose," He began. "You've been here for almost two years. That's 730 days of us being together. Minus the two or three days I was locked in that Kintari cell." Rose groaned at the memory. "Anyway, it may sound selfish but I want this, the TARDIS, to be your sanctuary, the place to feel secure, with me, where nothing can harm you and where you'll always be safe."

"Mmm...that's awfully domestic sounding." The Doctor didn't respond to that. "You don't have to be jealous of my mum y'know." Rose said after a minute of silence. "After all, you _are_ my home now."

"Really?" The Doctor's eyes shot open at that.

"Well, sure." She said it like he should have already known. "I still want to see her though. After I'm better. And don't worry, I won't tell her anything about what happened today.

"Deal." He replied. As she nuzzled in deeper, the Doctor wrapped his arm around her.

"About that thing you said earlier, about me not looking at humans like..._that, _well, it's not really true and..." He was cut off by the sound of Rose's heavy breathing, signaling she was asleep. _Figures. _

The Doctor looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He closed his eyes and listened as his blonde companion's single heart beat in time to his two. He caressed a hand through her hair and smiled, pulling the blankets up around them both.

And, for the first time since the Time War, the Doctor slept.

_Finè_

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><p><strong>Let me start by saying it's not very often that I write a story without a heavy dose of romance(not the graphic kind) so I was really surprised when this came out. The first draft of this was absolutely terrible, because no matter how hard I try, I cannot write right off the hip. But after I slept on it a few nights, I was able to come up with this, which I actually really like :) Short and sweet! Please review! :)<br>**


	4. Memoriam

**_Missing Scene #4_**

**_Title: Memoriam (Latin for Forevermore)_**

**_Episode: Sometime After "Closing Time" but before WoRS, Slight XOver with Torchwood: After Children of Earth, but before Miracle Day  
><em>**

**_Main Characters: Jack Harkness, Eleventh Doctor, Rose Tyler(mentioned)_**

**_Summary: Every once in a while Jack makes an effort to visit the memorial plaque of Canary Wharf, where the names of the dead are listed. There he takes a moment to remember the best, most influential time of his life. Traveling with his Doctor and his Rose. During one visit he runs into somebody who was also greatly influenced by her..._**

**A/N: Wow. Not one single review on that last chapter. And I thought it was pretty good. That's what I get for being so proud of "Falling Apart"'s success. Well, there'll be no new chapters in this for a long while...**

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><p>Jack sighed as he hopped up the steps and towards the Canary Wharf Memorial Plaque. At least once a year he tried to visit this place, to honor the ones he loved most. He stood in front of it and read the hundreds of names, until he reached the ones he recognized.<p>

_Rose Tyler._

_ Jackie Tyler._

_ Mickey Smith._

He ran his fingers over the names and remembered the Doctor who he knew was with them that day. He knew now that his friend, her mother and her former boyfriend were not dead, but that they were safe and very much alive in a parallel universe.

There had been so much pain and heartache for him these last few years. He missed them so much. Estelle, Owen, Tosh, Ianto...

_"Do you ever think that one day your luck'll run out? That you won't come back?"_

Gwen and Rhys' lives had nearly been destroyed, along with their then-unborn child. He hoped they were doing well. They still thought he was off-planet, grieving over what had happened, when the Children of Earth spoke as one. In fact, he had just returned, and this was his first stop. Half of him loved coming here. He could get lost in those years that happened so, so long ago...

"_And off we go, into time, and space!"_

_ "What are you, Captain of the Innuendo Squad?"_

_ "You just handed me a piece of paper telling me you're single and you work out."_

_ "By the way, love the t-shirt!"_

_ "I knew we should have turned left!"_

_ "Buy me a drink first."_

_ "You are worth fighting for."_

The other half of him hated it. Because it only reminded him of how alone he was now. He had nothing, and he knew nothing would ever end his suffering. He'd just keep living on. Those were the best years of his life, and they were never coming back. Not ever.

Jack took a deep breath and noticed someone was standing beside him. He turned to look and noticed a man in a brown jacket and a bow tie, wearing a cowboy hat. Jack would have wondered about his choice of clothing, but the look on the man's face made him stop. It was pure heartache.

"Did you lose someone here too mate?" He looked back at the memorial.

"Yeah."

"A friend?" Jack immediately felt a connection with this stranger.

"Yeah, she was. She was my best friend."

"What was her name?"

"Rose."

"Rose?" Jack spun back around but noticed the man was gone. A look of shock passed over his face. That had to be him, who else could it have been? That would explain the clothing choice, and the sudden wheezing noise that echoed all around him. He looked everywhere but couldn't see the familiar blue box. He looked down at the ground in sorrow. Oh well. That part of his life was over.

Seeing the Doctor there only affirmed his suspicions that the Doctor loved Rose as much as she did him(and that he definitely knew). He knew the Time Lord was a man not to look back on his past because it hurt too much.

But Rose was different. Rose had touched them both since the day they met. The Doctor in a small shop in Cardiff, and Jack on a spaceship in front of Big Ben. And, thanks to her, they were both better men. They would never be the same.

Gazing one last time at the Memorial, he turned around and walked away.

_"It's time I stopped running."_

_-End-_


	5. My Bad Wolf Girl

_**After the Running **_

_**Missing Scene #5**_

_**Title: My Bad Wolf Girl **_

_****Episode: Immediately after the fiftieth anniversary episode "Day of the Doctor"****_

_**Main Characters: Eleventh Doctor/Bad Wolf (The Moment/Rose Tyler)**_

_**Summary: After the events of the 50th Anniversary "Day of the Doctor", the Doctor remembers her. And he needs to see her, just one last time. The Moment grants that wish. Canon, but in TWO VERSIONS**_

_**A/N: **_**Why are so many people concerned with Ten seeing Rose? His story is finished, we know where he's going and that he sees Rose right before he dies. Eleven knew where Ten was going and that he'd make it out okay. But Eleven has no idea where he's going and when I wrote this, neither did any of us. He was heading to Trenzalore and possibly his grave. In my opinion he's the one that needs to see Rose, to have a little bit of hope to give him strength before he dies. Now of course, all the stories in After the Running are canon, meaning the outcome won't change what happened in the show, but version two is more...shippy. You'll find out what I mean. :) P.S. Even though the War Doctor has his own number, I'm still referring to the Ninth and Tenth Doctors as such.**

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><p><strong>Version One: Canon<strong>

The Doctor sighed as he reentered his TARDIS. Clara had already gone to bed, sensing his need for more alone time. He ran a hand over his face, waiting for the moment that always came after a day like this. He gasped suddenly as pain shot through his head. His fingers gripped the console tightly as memories from his last self came rushing in.

_"Liz, will you marry me?"_

_"I don't know where he gets that from."_

_"I'm sorry, did you say Bad Wolf?"_

A gasp escaped from his mouth as the even younger Doctor's experiences flooded his mind.

_"You're me? Both of you?"_

_"Timey-wimey?"_

_"Oh my Bad Wolf girl, I could kiss you!"_

_"Don't worry, that's gonna 'appen."_

Bad Wolf! His Rose!

...No wait...not his Rose. She was a manifest of The Moment's interface, chosen specially for him. Oh and how she had chosen right, especially in that time of his life. He hadn't known it then but that was the face that would help him through his next two lives. She was the last human face his Ninth and Tenth forms saw before they burst into light. She had saved him more times than he could count, and he could count pretty high.

It warmed his hearts, just like he had seen her now, with this body. The Interface had helped him, guided him, shown him how to save his planet, his people.

The Doctor felt a nudging in the back of his head to turn around. He did so and saw exactly what he was expecting.

There she was, the Interface, looking like Rose, smiling sadly. The Doctor knew she had done this now to give him comfort, even if it wasn't really his Rose. She knew he needed the reassurance of seeing her face again to go on with the enormous task she had given him. She also knew that before he began that part of his journey, he must first have the strength to face his death at Trenzalore. Because he needed all the strength he could get. He'd had this body for hundreds of years and the Fall of the Eleventh could possibly shatter him for good.

He smiled back and raised a hand to wave at her. Her smile grew as she waved in reply, before fading into nothing.

The Doctor's smile slipped slightly after she had left. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, something he hadn't been prone to do since his last life. After he lowered his hand the grin was plastered back into place, not just as a facade but as a lifeline. He threw a lever on the TARDIS. Soon it would be time to find his home.

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><p><strong>Version Two - The "Wishful Thinking" Version <em>(How I would have written italso canon/not reunion)_**

The Doctor felt a nudging in the back of his head that he should turn around. He did so and was surprised by what, or rather who he saw standing right behind him.

He was expecting the Interface of the Moment to be standing there, looking exactly as he had seen her back before his Ninth life. What he saw instead was the Bad Wolf he had seen _in_ his Ninth life, when she had saved him with the Time Vortex running through her head, complete with pink Phunky Fish sweater.

"It's you, isn't it?" He whispered, reaching out to brush a strand of hair out of her glowing eyes. She looked so young, and yet so old. The Doctor knew instinctively that she was on her way to save him from the Daleks on the Game Station. "You were the Moment." At this she shook her head.

"I gave her my face and my powers. But I was the one who brought you all together."

"You saved Gallifrey. You saved me. You never stop saving me."

"I want you safe. My Doctor." The Doctor smiled at that. She knew everything. She knew she was quoting what she'd say to his younger self in only a few minutes. And suddenly he was filled with an intense feeling of longing. This would probably be the last time he would ever see his darling, beautiful Rose again.

But...what if he could save her? Keep her here with him? He'd gladly give up this life and draw the vortex out of her. Then she wouldn't have to go back and she could be with him again.

No. Then his past self would be killed permanently by the Daleks, and besides, the Fall of the Eleventh was destined to end at Trenzalore, not in the arms of one of the few women he ever truly loved. The reapers would have a field day with that one.

No, he had to let her go. He'd never wanted something...someone so badly in his life. _"But if I love, I mean, truly love her, I have to let her go."_ To preserve the timelines, to save his past self and in turn, save Rose's, he'd have to let go.

As if sensing the conflicting thoughts in his head, the Bad Wolf looked up at him, the light in her eyes fading nearly completely. The Doctor knew she was blocking her powers from being drawn out by his kiss.

"Thanks." He whispered as he leaned over her. As his lips brushed over hers, the Doctor finally gave in to the rush of passion that had filled his soul since the moment he had seen her 'as' the Moment.

_"Oh my Bad Wolf girl, I could kiss you!"_

And kiss her he did. With everything in his being. It wasn't just a kiss, it was a release of all the pain, the love he'd held in his hearts for so long. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, throwing her arms around his neck to draw him as close to her body as possible.

The Doctor couldn't really tell before, the last few kisses had a few different things in the way, but now he knew: Rose Tyler tasted like Heaven. The way her lips fit in perfectly with his, the way her tongue danced in his mouth, the way her fingers fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck...the Doctor had never felt more complete yet so incomplete in his 1,000+ years of living. She wouldn't remember any of this after the Bad Wolf was taken out of her, but the Doctor would never forget this day as long as he lived, whether he survived Trenzalore or not.

"I love you," he whispered as he pulled away slightly.

"Quite right too." She replied and the Doctor closed his eyes, clearly in pain.

And when he opened them, she was gone.


	6. Always

_***After the Running* **_

_**Missing Scene #6**_

_**Title: "Always"**_

_**Episode: After Christmas Invasion, before New Earth  
><strong>_

_**Main Characters: Rose Tyler, Ninth Doctor, Tenth Doctor**_

_**Rating: K+ for minor language**_

_**Summary: Much like Clara's call from the Eleventh Doctor in Deep Breath, Rose got a call of her own, from her first Doctor the night after her new Doctor defeated the Sycorax. "Is he really you?"**_

_**A/N: **_**Yes, I had to do this. After all, it****'s a missing scene, so basically it could have happened. I'm not trying to step on anything special Clara had with Eleven (at least, not intentionally), but I could totally see this happening, especially since Nine didn't tell her about regeneration. (And Clara knew every form of his, imagine that...-_-) Also, I'm not going to take any lines from "Deep Breath", as I want this moment between Nine and Rose to be special, not stolen (and this is supposed to be canon).  
><strong>

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><p>Rose couldn't help it. As soon as she reached her room on the Powell Estates and shut the door without bothering to lock it, she threw herself on her bed and began to sob. She didn't want to feel this way, really, after all, the future looked so bright with the new version of her Doctor. But after he had...regenerated, things had happened so fast. First he was hopping around like a bloody idiot, then he nearly flew the TARDIS into oblivion, then lapsed into a coma, before waking up and defeating the Sycorax with only a sword. One Christmas dinner and an hour of staring into the snowy...ahem, ash-filled sky later and she could finally reflect on what had happened.<p>

She felt sick to her stomach. She missed her Doctor so much, the one with the leather fetish, the gruff demeanor with the soft interior, those icy blue eyes with so much compassion amidst the pain. She turned on her side and clutched the pillow tighter to her face, 'lest this new Doctor should hear her sobs. She truly believed he was the Doctor, after all, who else could bring down the most powerful woman in the government with only six words? The look on his face in that moment still sent shivers down her spine. He reminded her so much of her old Doctor it hurt. Even hearing _that _word_ "Fantastic"_ coming from his lips did only a little to ease her pain.

She knew she'd get over it. After all, she knew she loved her Doctor, no matter what he looked like. She didn't realise she'd have to accept a new face until the second it happened, but she knew she could do it. The next morning she'd be okay, and things would be back to normal. She would never reveal her feelings for fear of destroying their friendship of course. Just like before.

But for now, she let herself grieve one last time. However, as she continued to cry, all she could do was see her Doctor's face in her head, and she wanted nothing more than to have him back in her arms. That wonderful smell of leather and time was fading, and she wondered if she really could accept this Doctor, this stranger she'd only known for a day. She suddenly felt so inadequate. What if he changed his mind about letting her travel with him, what if his personality had changed so much it would be too different? What if, what if, _what if..._

She jerked with a start when her phone began to ring. She grabbed her purse sitting on the floor and scrambled to find her phone. Who the hell could it be? Her mum was over in the next room and Mickey had just said goodbye to her only a few minutes ago. The Doctor was most likely tinkering in his TARDIS, adapting to his new likes, dislikes and mannerisms. He wouldn't be thinking to call her now, so who...?

"Hello?"

_"Rose?"_ Her heart leapt into her throat at the familiar Northern brogue.

"D-Doctor? Is it...is it really you?"

_"It's me, Rose."_ His voice was strained, like he was in pain.

"What...where are you?" She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to see him again.

_"I'm in the TARDIS. It's minutes after what happened on the Game Station."_ Rose's memories of what had happened were still hazy, all she could remember was a glowing light and the most beautiful song she had ever heard. She could still hear it if she thought hard enough, but it was fading too, like the familiar smell of her first Doctor.

"You're calling from the past." It was more of a statement than a question. She could nearly hear his nod.

_"You're unconscious just a few feet away from me."_

"But, why are you calling me?" She strained to think of any reason the Doctor who stayed away from 'domestic' like the plague would take the time to call her in the future, but couldn't come up with one.

_"I called to say I'm sorry. I should have told you about regeneration sooner, but I was naive, thinking I'd never destroy this form so fast. It's definitely the shortest time I've had in a body."_ The words sounded like nonsense to her, but she knew he was telling the truth. She wouldn't have believed him a few days ago, but now...

"How many bodies have you had?" She knew it really wasn't something to talk about now, of all things, but honestly she wanted to prolong this conversation as long as possible. She most likely only had a few minutes left with him.

_"This is my Ninth. The one you're with now is my Tenth."_

"What makes you think I'm still with you?" She let a smile grace her lips and she let out a small chuckle to let him know she was joking. She heard a short laugh from the other end.

_"Because I know you, Rose Tyler._" She shivered, loving the way he said her name, with such reverence and care. The smile fell from her face as fast as it had come.

"I thought I knew you." With a flash she remembered what she had confessed to her mum earlier in the kitchen.

_"I thought I knew him, mum...He left me!"_

The other side of the line was quiet for a few seconds.

_"I'm sorry."_ He whispered and immediately Rose felt sorry.

"It's okay. I forgive you. _So_ much." She heard a grunt of pain and her heartbeat sped up, the image of him bent over and clutching his stomach assaulting her memory. The fear and worry that had struck her in that moment... _"I'm dying." _The Doctor's next words snapped her out of the nightmare.

_"I better go."_ He said, and Rose rushed to say what was on her mind before he could hang up.

"Doctor...did you kiss me?" It felt more like a dream than reality, but she wanted to know, sure that her new Doctor wouldn't tell her.

_"I did."_ He chuckled again. _"Sentimental me. There were any number of ways to remove the vortex from you. I'm sorry if it changes your view of me."_

"No, of course not. And thank you. You saved my life."

_"And you saved mine. Be good to him Rose."_ With that Rose looked up and saw the new Doctor standing in her doorway. She hadn't even heard the door open. He gave her a sort of sad, knowing smile. Hopefully he hadn't heard her question about the kiss. Or didn't remember it, for that matter. Rose tried to keep the blush off her face as she continued to talk with her Doctor long gone.

"Doctor, just one more question. Is he really you?" Her eyes flicked back to her new pinstriped-clad Doctor. She watched as he mouthed the words at the same time she heard them in her ear.

_"Always."_ She hung up the phone seconds after he hung up. She looked up at her Doctor and invited him in. He sat on the edge of her bed and tried not to frown, seeing the tear tracks on her face.

"Your mum's gonna kill me if she finds me in here." He said as more of a distraction. This made Rose chuckle as she grabbed a kleenex off her nightstand and wiped the moisture off her face.

"Thank you." She said, irritated that she felt her eyes filling up again._ Stupid, sentimental..._

"You did take it rather hard." She didn't reply to that, merely threw her arms around him and hugged him. Sure, she'd always miss her first Doctor, but she'd be damned if she let any minute she had with this second chance slip by.

_"Always."_

* * *

><p><strong>Thoughts? I thought it kinda ridiculous that Clara refused to accept Twelve because he was so old (psht), when she had seen the War Doctor and Ten in the 50th Anniversary, not to mention seeing his whole timeline and every one of his regenerations from the beginning. I know, Rose had it easier, but still. Psht. Haha! Btw I didn't think Nine would care too much about his appearance, after all, maybe he had some sort of hazy memory of already seeing him before in the 50th ;) Please be a dear and alertfavorite/review! :)**


	7. Mistakes

**_Missing Scene #7_**

**_Title: Mistakes_**

**_Episode: The Time of the Doctor, during the Eleventh Doctor's regeneration_**

**_Main Characters: The Eleventh Doctor, the Twelfth Doctor, Clara, mentions of past female companions_**

**_Pairings: Doctor/Rose and a glimmer of Doctor/River if you squint hard enough_**

**_Rating: K+ (for minor language)  
><em>**

**_Summary: The Doctor is sick of it. Sick of having broken hearts and causing them. This time it's going to be different, he'll start this one off right. No more mistakes.  
><em>**

**_Spoilers: From the beginning all the way to Deep Breath._**

**_A/N:_ Peter Capaldi was very adamant about there being no romance involving him on his TARDIS. What if the Doctor felt that way as well? After losing Rose and River who were very near to his hearts and having Martha, Amy and Clara have unrealistic crushes on him, maybe he's finally tired of it. **

* * *

><p><em>"I've made many mistakes, and it's time I did something about that. Clara, I'm not your boyfriend."<br>_

_"I never said you were."_

_"I never said it was your mistake."_

The Doctor was so very sick of it. Sick of having broken hearts and causing them. He vowed to make this time different. If he started it off right, maybe he could protect his hearts as well as keeping others from having unrealistic expectations from him. After all, he sure had been through enough.

He never really thought much about love when he was younger. Sure, pretty companions would catch his eye. Every once in a while he'd stare at Nyssa's bum as she twirled around, or avert his gaze away from Peri's ample cleavage. Even his Eighth life had explored 'snogs' with Grace (which was very fun by the way). His granddaughter had been loomed for him so he had never experienced the kind of love most humans dream about.

Until he met Rose.

One of his most defining companions, Rose had been the one to save him ultimately from the damage the Time War had done to him. She had shown him to look at the universe as something beautiful again, something he hadn't done in hundreds of years. She had made him view the past as something to overcome, as she had done in her own simple life before she met him. And when he lost her, he was lost as well. After that everything had gone downhill from there.

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't noticed Martha's glances at his lips, and he knew he had messed up royally with that bloody genetic transfer during their first meeting. It was entirely his fault really as he refused to acknowledge those sort of feelings again, his hearts still reeling from nearly confessing his feelings to Rose on a damn beach in a parallel universe. But still, Martha didn't have to act like a spoiled brat who didn't get her way at times. Don't misunderstand, Martha was very strong, very smart, but at times she did more damage to his hearts than good. But then again, she had saved his life more times than he could count, and for that, he respected her very much. He hoped she was happy. He hoped they all were.

His hearts were still hurting after so long, two years in fact, and his every thought was still of Rose. That's why Donna had been so good for him. For the first time in so, so many years, he finally had a friend. Just that. Someone to laugh with, someone to let him know he was going too far, someone who wouldn't push the boundaries of his heartsache and pain. Donna had healed him incredibly, and that just made it worse that he couldn't have done the same for her in the end.

Losing Rose and Donna all over again nearly pushed him to the breaking point. But that form of him was so vain, more vain than any of his other forms in fact, that he hadn't been able to let go of looking young. He even wasted a regeneration just to keep that face (it was for Rose, he kept telling himself). But after the Master and Wilf knocking four times, he had no excuse. So his Eleventh self was born. (Twelfth technically, but since he was reminiscing so much already, this was no time to correct himself). He should have made a new start then, but he didn't, and that only did more damage.

Amy was great. She was kind, pretty, stubborn. One of his first mistakes was letting himself get imprinted on her young never, _ever_ ended well. Reinette proved that_._ He never approved of Amy's flirting as she was getting married in the morning (how long was that for?) and even after she was married she clung to him more than he should. But he never chastised her for it, not even once. And he led her on too, much like with Martha. _I guess I still liked the attention. _

And then River Song had flung herself (quite literally) into his life for the second time for him, who knows which time it was for her. And she turned his life upside down more than any other woman had. She had challenged nearly every one of his morals and convinced him that maybe, it wasn't so bad to be selfish every once in a while. Granted, he had been rather forced into marrying her, but he'd be lying if he said he hadn't felt as lonely. Having a family with River and the Ponds had filled a hole in his hearts he hadn't even known was there.

Maybe that was why it hurt so much more than anything else when he lost them. The second after Amy had disappeared from him forever he felt this gaping wound inside his chest that he didn't know how to deal with. Losing Rose had been horrible of course, but it hadn't been complicated. He knew he loved her (and her him) and he knew she was happy with his clone (at least he desperately hoped she was). He still remembered what it felt like to travel alone then, and that was what he had wanted (or so he told himself, up until he met Donna in her wedding dress). He clung on to that wish to travel alone until Martha pretty much demanded to stay.

But he had sealed the Ponds onto his hearts. They were his family, Amy was the first face this face saw, and when they were gone, he had been so dependent on them that he didn't know how to act, how to think. Even River being there hadn't helped much (it just made him feel even more guilty, as they were her parents after all). Every time he lost a companion it was his fault in some way or another. He should have made sure Rose's lever would have been secure. He shouldn't have let the Master steal his TARDIS and take over the Earth. He shouldn't have let River give her life for him in the Library. He shouldn't have let Donna get trapped inside the TARDIS. Granted, if he had changed all of those instances, they couldn't have been able to save the universe. Rose couldn't have stopped the Daleks, Martha the Master, River the Vashta Nerada and Donna Davros.

But the loss of his Ponds had felt so worthless, _so stupid. _If only he had turned around a minute earlier, they would still be with him. One stupid, bloody angel had torn Amy and Rory from him forever. It hurt so much he couldn't even process a single thing. Not even Amy telling him to not travel alone in the afterword she wrote for him hadn't done any good. How could it, when she couldn't tell him herself?

So he shut off the pain. Ran away to Victorian England and began a new life. Vastra, Jenny and Strax did their best (well, Vastra and Jenny did), but he didn't want their help. All he wanted was to be left alone. The universe had torn away the very thing he treasured most, and he vowed never to save it again, if that was how it thanked him.

It was a good thing Clara came along at that point. Solving the mystery of her had become priority #1 in his life. And it felt good, so good to be...how did they say it? Back in the saddle again. Solving the biggest mystery of his life had given him a chance to move on. And after he had found the real Clara, he wanted nothing more than to protect her. To keep her close to him and never let her die again. Twice was too many after all. He felt like her father more than anything in that respect, or at least an odd, caring, thousand year-old uncle.

And that had been his next mistake. He realised too late that he had let her get too close. He had just lost River and refused to acknowledge the pain of letting her go, so to hear her confess her crush made him more upset than he had felt in years. But he couldn't do anything about it. He felt responsible for what was going to happen to her, so he continued to keep her close. He even joked around about being her boyfriend and letting her do the same. Until he finally figured out her mystery and later decided to send her home. _For her own good._ He insisted.

But she had came back. They always came back, didn't they? She begged the Time Lords save his life and they had. And now he finally had his chance to have a new start.

_"And now it's time for one last bow_  
><em> Like all your other selves<em>  
><em> Eleven's hour is over now<em>  
><em> The clock is striking Twelve's".<em>

"It all just disappears, doesn't it? Everything you are, gone in a moment, like breath on a mirror. Any moment now... He's a-comin'." He had felt the regeneration energy waiting to burst out for a long time now, and he was only holding on like a single strand of rope that was breaking. He could even hear the snapping of the twine. Or was that the creaking of his ancient bones?

"Who's coming?" Clara was so worried. She shouldn't be worried, she had met his past selves, hadn't she? Just another indication that she had grown too attached to his looks. She thought she was in love with him, but if she were, she wouldn't ask him not to change. Not if she already understood. Rose had only asked because she had no idea who he or what regeneration was (_add that mistake to the list). _River had never asked, because she loved him for who he was on the inside. She liked pretty boys indeed, but he was the only pretty boy she ever needed. At least he liked to think so.

"The Doctor."

"You. You are the Doctor."

"Yep, and I always will be." Just like the last two times, he took a moment to concentrate on a form that would suit him best next. He didn't have complete control, but he had enough to make sort of a difference. His Tenth form had been born for Rose, and his Eleventh because he was too sentimental to give up his young looks. But now it was time for a change. He had called Clara in the future and had gotten the gist of it, and he understood why now. If Clara was so intent on looks, he needed to prove to her that he was still amazing, even without looking like someone she would want to hook up with (which she most certainly would not once this whole business was over). He needed to show her that the Doctor was the man on the inside. That he was so much more than a pretty face. "But times change, and so much I." And of course, he had to take a moment_ "to get his reward"_, as his last form had put it.

"Amelia!"

"Who's Amelia?"

"The first face this face saw." She was so much more than that of course, but her memory would always be stored away in his hearts forever, and he wouldn't speak them out loud. He never did, for any of them. "We all change. When you think about it, we're all different people all through our lives, and that's okay, that's good, you gotta keep moving, so long as you remember all the people that you used to be." _Older and grumpy. Recorder player. UNIT employee, Scarf wearer, Celery wearer, Rainbow explosion, Umbrella toting, Edwardian suit, The one who broke the promise, Leather clad, Pinstriped and finally, Bowtie wearing me. Oh man I'm going to miss this bowtie. I wonder who I'll be defined as next. "_I will not forget one line of this. Not one day. I swear. I will always remember when the Doctor was me." He would never forget any of them. Nor the women who had touched his lives in so many ways.

_"I spent a lot of time with you, thinking I was second best. But you know what? I am good!"_

_"It's okay, it's not over for you. You'll see me again. You've got all of that to come. You and me, time and space. You watch us run!"_

_"They will never forget her, while she can never remember. But for one moment, one shining moment, she was the most important woman in the whole wide universe."_

_"I bet you're gonna have a really great year!"_

_"Raggedy man...goodnight."_

"Please don't change." And there it was, only solidifying his decision. With one final push, his new face was born.

And he had succeeded.

* * *

><p>"I've made many mistakes, and it's time I did something about that. Clara, I'm not your boyfriend."<p>

"I never said you were."

"I never said it was your mistake."

* * *

><p><strong>I really like how this one came out. Please review, tell me your thoughts, was Rose better for him, or River (or Martha, Donna, Amy, or Clara)? I really tried to keep an open mind on this (boy was it hard, I was going against basic programming here by saying that he loved River) Sorry, I was a bit harsh to those Whouflle fans (I never did understand that ship, can someone please enlighten me a bit?) and DoctorMartha fans but I mean no disrespect. Haha anyway, hope you liked! I probably won't publish anything this winter, so I guess it's goodbye until next summer! If you want to see what (hopefully) will be coming in 2015, take a look on my profile, I just updated it! :) Allons-y! ~Katy  
><strong>


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